Mission To Children

	About MTC	Donate Online	Contact Us

Home

Making a Difference in Relationships

I recently read a book by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol and Ken McElrath, entitled The Ascent of a Leader (that is, the rise of a leader). One section that caught my attention describes a company workshop in which people within the company expressed appreciation to their co-workers. One by one, they affirmed each other for various qualities they observed.

That may not seem like a very big deal. Yet, the authors report that stoic men and women wept openly when they heard, sometimes for the first time, how much their team members appreciated who they are and what they do. These affirming statements were as powerful coming from co-workers and subordinates as from bosses. In fact, the authors point out that bosses are often the ones with the greatest need to know that others appreciate them, although they're the least likely to admit it.

Does the experience these workers had together tell us anything about how we can "make a difference" in our marketplace relationships? Does it suggest anything about lifestyle worship? I believe the answer to both questions is, "Yes."

To understand this, let's start with today's culture. We live in a culture in which we are told that to be successful we need to lift ourselves up, to toot our own horn. We are trained and enticed to out-do those around us. We make power statements by the clothes we choose to wear, by the car we choose to drive, by the location of the building in which we work, the placement of our office within that building or the neighborhood in which we live. Functional needs like this are sometimes transformed into status symbols, to demonstrate that we have done better than others; we're ahead of the pack.

In this culture of lifting up ourselves and "keeping others in their place," we sometimes find it easier to withhold compliments, or even criticize others, rather than honor others with encouraging words. It's an interesting paradox that we each want to receive encouragement, but we aren't nearly as eager to give encouragement. If everybody acted that way, no one would encourage anybody, would they! What a loss that would be to all of us.

By the way, in giving attention today to encouraging and affirming others as part of our lifestyle worship, I am not suggesting that you should keep your own good work a secret. That would not only be a dis-service to you, but it would also be a dis-service to your company. Your co-workers need to know what you're doing and how you're doing it. That's part of teamwork. In evaluating your work, your boss needs to know what you've accomplished and how well you've done. These are not cases of selfish pride; these are accountability issues that are important to the whole company. My message to you today is about a different issue; it's about how you can glorify God, not only by doing good work yourself, but also by encouraging and commending those around you.

Now, back to the point. When we find ourselves reluctant to affirm others, our root problem is probably selfishness. We withhold praise from others because we fear it will draw attention away from us. Self-centeredness is the opposite of godly worship. It makes self the center of attention, instead of making God our center of attention.

A true worshiper is counter-cultural. Romans 12:2 says, .Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. One way to demonstrate your transformed mind and your godly nonconformity is to commend others - even when you would rather have others commend you. You can do this as an act of worship, as a way of demonstrating your reliance on God to lift you up at the right time rather than depending on others to lift you up. A true worshiper will enjoy lifting others up.

Why? One reason is that God specifically asks us to do so. Listen to these words in Romans 12:10: Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another. Later in that same paragraph God says, Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. These and many other passages of scripture show us clearly that God wants us to think of others and put them first, and He will put us forward whenever He chooses to do so.

The second reason a true worshiper enjoys lifting others up is because it gives him or her another occasion to trust in the love and sovereignty of God. 1 Peter 5:6-7 says, .All of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble." Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

If God wants you in that position at work or at that income level, and if you are loving and walking with Him, there is no way you won't have that position or that income. If you trust Him, you can afford to lift others up without feeling threatened or jealous. It's positively liberating!

The key to being a true worshiper who makes a difference in relationships is making sure that one's life is God-centered rather than self-centered. The main thing is that the main thing remain the main thing! The main thing is to worship God, that is, love Him, walk with Him and serve Him. The rest flows from that core. In the words of John 7:38, "He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water."

We've been thinking today about relationships in the marketplace. Do these thoughts about marketplace relationships tell us anything about how we can "make a difference" in our relationships within our family and within our church? The answer is, "Yes." At home and at church, giving the gift of encouraging words is like bringing a cup of cold water to someone who's been out in the hot sun. Lifestyle worship thrives when God-centered hearts look for ways to support those around them. I pray you'll do that today, at home and at work, with encouraging words.

Proverbs 25, verse 11, says, A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.