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Keeping Up With the Jones'

In Volume 7 of the Leadership magazine, which is a journal for people in ministry, cartoonist Doug Hall shows a frantic man on the phone saying, "My wife just left me, I lost my job, I need surgery, and my spirits have hit bottom! Pastor, you've gotta help me. What's the difference between pre-, post-, and amillennialism?"

Well, there's no doubt that we are bombarded in today's world with all sorts of anxiety-producing issues and circumstances, some big and some relatively small. In fact, it seems as if today we not only carry the anxieties common to mankind since Adam and Eve, but we live in a world system that encourages anxiety as a way of life.

At work, competitive anxiety within the company is consciously programmed into the corporate culture. Some senior executives intentionally throw particular junior executives together to stir up professional rivalry in the hope that the company will somehow advance as these junior execs anxiously jockey for position and perks.

In sales departments around the world, figures for last year, last quarter, last month, last week - and sometimes even yesterday's sales - are posted at headquarters and distributed to all the reps. That way, everyone sees who this moment's 'golden kid' is - and who the goats are. That is, everyone else. Why do they post these numbers? Because they know a little anxiety may boost today's sales for the company.

In court, two attorneys scheme tenaciously to convince the jury of their view, regardless of the right or wrong done by the defendant. Why? Quite apart from the public good, neither lawyer wants to be outshone by the other.

Back at the office, managers are much more likely to applaud than reprimand their employees for putting in long hours on the job. In addition to public praise, financial and perk incentives are added for higher and higher production. That's like waving a red cape in front of the "go for it" types of people who are most vulnerable to these ploys. Almost inevitably, these chargers experience increased anxiety at work and increased anxiety at home. At work, they're thinking, "I'm not gonna let Harry look better than me." When they get home, they're saying, "Honey, I'll have to work again this Saturday, but it's only temporary, and it'll be worth it when I get promoted."

Is this only a marketplace mentality? No. Have you ever met a supermom? The fear of causing her child to forgo future opportunities drives supermoms into a constant flurry of "must do" activities.

These schedules carry a price tag. Last year, the USA Today (3-20-00) published results of a survey in which women reported on the stress and tension they feel at the end of the day. In that study:

29% said they feel stress and tension at the end of the day once or twice a week.
21% said they feel that way almost every day
8% said they feel stress and tension all the time

Put together, 58% - over half the women surveyed - feel stressed and tense for a considerable portion of their lives! That's significant.

A lot of this effort and stress goes to our compulsion to keep-up-with-the-Jones'. The advertising industry has capitalized on our weakness, propelling us cleverly from that mindset to a new high: keep-AHEAD-of-the-Jones'. At home, our kids want their friends' best toys, nicest clothes and favorite compact discs or DVDs. Mom and dad don't want to appear neglectful, so they buy these things for their children. After all, kids are only kids once, right?

Wrong. We adults are just older kids. We do no better - although we do know better. We want a nest egg like our parents', but we also want a house like Harry's & Hazel's, a car like Bob's & Betty's, a wardrobe like Sam's & Sally's and a marriage like Tom's & Tammy's. As someone has aptly observed, "The difference between men and boys is the cost of all their toys." Women and girls may not have the same toys, but they have the same motives as the guys.

How do we get into these complicated, confusing, conflicting, expensive situations? The gate is wide, and many there be who enter. Above the gate are two words: Unwise Comparisons.

Eve looked at the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, compared it with other fruit in her experience, decided she wanted it and bought it without remotely knowing the price she would have to pay. Adam looked at Eve, compared the pluses of going along with her to the minuses of disagreeing with her and replied, "Whatever you say, dear." And so has it been ever since!

Comparisons, of course, are not inherently bad. In the marketplace we are wise to compare products and select the option best suited to our needs and circumstances. In relationships we are very wise to choose friends-especially marriage partners-with care. Such decisions require discerning comparisons.

The problem, again, is unwise comparisons. These come in at least two different models. One model is the incomplete comparison. Hazel's house is beautiful, but what income is required to support it? Bob's car is the envy of all car lovers, but what has he short-changed in order to buy it?

Jim's success in corporate climbing is outstanding-but does he know his children? Don is scaling the heights in sales, with its accompanying company kudos and coveted compensation. Do his accomplishments have any connection to his three marriages? Our comparisons often ignore the complete equation, the whole picture, of those with whom we compare ourselves.

In addition to incomplete comparisons, which war against our worship, there is another kind of unwise comparison. This is the incongruent comparison. If I compare myself to Bruce and berate myself for not matching (or better, exceeding) his accomplishments, it is time for me to take off my sandals: I am stepping off my turf and onto God's holy ground. Are any two people identical in spiritual gifts, natural gifts, experiences, resources and opportunities? Should they be? Must God "bless" both in identical ways? The answer to these questions is a resounding NO.

The story goes that Microsoft's Bill Gates once compared the computer industry with the auto industry and said, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles per gallon." General Motors responded to Gates by releasing the statement, "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

God calls us to a kind of comparison that has nothing to do with our accomplishments, our possessions or our personal attributes. He says in Ephesians 4 and 5: .be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. Therefore be followers of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us..

God calls you to escape from the anxiety of comparing yourself to others, and find refuge in the peace of conforming to Jesus Christ.