Worship Series - Interview with Paul 2

I: What happened, then, following your conversion?

P: Well, except for 2 brief, life-threatening ministry episodes, I essentially experienced over a decade of obscurity. This was not my personal choice, by the way. Once I understood how wrong I had been in opposing Jesus Christ, I was even more eager to serve my Savior than I had been earlier to contest Him. So I had my plan - but God had His plan, too, and His plan is the only one that matters.

I still had much to learn about Him before I was really prepared to serve Him as effectively as He intended. That learning curve required that I be benched for a while - in fact, I was benched for quite awhile.

I: Tell us more about that time in your life. Some of us wonder if we've been benched by God, too. Maybe you can help us gain insight regarding our situations.

P: First of all, God treats all of us alike with regard to the fact of our need for the salvation that comes only through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Second, He is incredibly creative in working out the details of the lives of each of His individual children. No two are exactly alike.

In my case, for several years of my obscurity I was alone out in the Arabian desert. After short visits to Damascus and Jerusalem, God led me to spend several more years of obscurity back home, deep in the heart of Tarsus.

He used those years of obscurity to slow me down, ease the pounding of my heart, quiet my mind and reveal Himself to me in a way that I simply cannot put into words. I learned more of His law, more of His grace and more of His love than ever before.

As a result, I found myself loving Him more and more. I also learned to rest in Him, to remain in Him, to abide in Him in a way that I doubt could have happened had I not been on the sidelines. It was quite a time of worship.

Please understand, however, that I was not totally idle. God used me to help and encourage individuals from time to time in my hometown as I resumed my tent making activities.

Let me tell you, I was thrilled to have even a small part in building up their faith after all I had done to destroy it earlier!

Yet, I longed for the opportunity to serve Him on a wider scale. I yearned to be out on the field, in the center of the action. This was not blind ambition. Nor was it a personal desire for greatness; I had already humbled myself irrevocably by my pre-conversion actions. This was a God-implanted desire to invest myself in the building of His church across the continent.

I wanted, in serving God, to serve hundreds - maybe thousands - of other believers. But I didn't know when - or if - it would happen.

All I knew for sure was that I loved Him, I needed to abide in Him, and to be faithful in what few things He gave me to do until or unless He led me otherwise. It was a time to work, to watch and to wait for His move.

I: Were there any particular obstacles facing you during those years of obscurity?

P: Yes. My ever-active mind kept replaying my leading role as an antagonizer of those who loved Jesus and knew Him as the Christ. Satan clubbed me time after time with vivid memories of the faces of believers I imprisoned, of families I split and of Stephen, in whose murder I participated.

Sometimes in the middle of night and other times in the heat of day, I would be jolted by flashbacks: Husbands I snatched from their wives, mothers I separated from their babies. Faces of children whose parents I had just put into chains and paraded down the street in a public spectacle.

Their eyes haunted me. I felt their tug on my clothes. I heard their anguished voices begging for mercy.

These memories tormented me. I became the one begging for mercy. Time after time I cried out, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me...?"

I: And how were you rescued?

P: God rescued me. First, He took me under His wing and nourished our relationship. He forgave me, an experience that felt like cool rain on parched ground. He assured me of His unchanging love. He convinced me that I belonged to Him.

Second, He took me to His Word, reminding me of such leaders as Moses and David, who each experienced a significant delay between the time of their calling to crucial service and their engagement in that service. Third, He brought people to my side as encouragers. Ananias and Barnabas each played particularly important roles in braving the elements to come along side me and help.

When we continue tomorrow, the apostle Paul will explain happened to him after being benched following his conversion to Jesus Christ. I invite you to join us!

© 2007 John Garmo. If you would be interested in using this article, please contact us at Info@MissionToChildren.org.