Expectations, part 3

Tennis and Basketball are two of my favorite pastimes. They gives me lots of exercise, they provide opportunities for casual contact with friends, and they provide me with one kind of health insurance.

But as much as I enjoy playing these sports, I can get really frustrated, too! There are times that I get very upset at myself over another lapse in thought that results in another sloppy shot. Those frustrating moments are cogent personal reminders of the fact that I tend to impose expectations upon myself that may be too high for my level of practice or training. Have you had that same sort of experience?

Do you set up expectations for yourself that are too high, too broad, or in some other way unrealistic? Unrealistic expectations are like weeds in your garden: They start off looking a lot like other green plants you want to grow, and then little by little, they take over more and more ground. Unrealistic expectations can take over your life and distract you from the things that are most important. Today I'd like to help you recognize and remove unrealistic expectations that might be turning the garden of your life into a weed patch.

It seems that these days we make more demands on ourselves than ever before. We fill our schedules and our lives with all sorts of goals and activities that keep us running from one thing to another. We set goals that are too high or too broad for us to accomplish - unless we neglect one or more of our other goals or activities.

Added to the unreasonable demands we place on ourselves are the expectations we allow others place on our shoulders. Do you remember the New Testament Pharisees? They had their followers hog-tied with how-to-do-its. Their expectations were too high, too narrow AND off track. Their rules ruined people's lives. Those who honestly decided they wouldn't continue the charade quit in bitterness, burdened with a sense of failure. Others who sincerely loved God kept trying to jump through hoops that the Pharisees designed, like obedient slaves. They were apparently unaware of the freedom of true worship.

My listening friend, around you is an adult person still trying desperately-even if subconsciously-to please someone else. You may be feeling that pressure yourself at this very moment. A grown daughter still struggles to achieve the expectations of her mother. A pastor with years of ministry experience is still, in the back of his mind, preaching to his homiletics professor's expectations instead of preaching to his congregation's needs.

Unrealistic expectations are a particular tragedy when a person's potential points in one direction - but the expectations of other people point in another. For example, someone listening to me today may be an attorney, unhappily plugging away at her unfulfilling career, but continuing down that path because her father expected her to come into the family practice. When we complicate God's creative design of us by pursuing unrealistic expectations, it's no surprise that the result is a diminished, mediocre life.

One step toward your lifestyle of worship is facing up to expectations in your life. What have you imposed on yourself: Perfection? Forget it. Accept what everyone else already knows: You're flawed, my friend. But don't get uptight about it; relax - everyone else is flawed, too!

Mothers, are you trying to be a Supermom? There's a national organization, Supermoms Anonymous, dedicated to burned out victims of your genre. Men, are you trying to be a Superdad? Supersalesman? Superchurchactivist? My condolences. You'd better hope someone sticks around you to pick up the pieces.

Whose list of expectations are you trying to fulfill in addition to your own: your elderly parents'? Your former teacher's? Your self-serving child's? Your ambitious spouse's? Madison Avenue's? Things get rather tangled up, don't they?

God's ancient and simple advice to us comes as spring to the brutal winter:love, abide, then serve.

Were we the faithful lovers God desires, our schedules and checkbooks would be pruned much more discerningly. Were we the faithful lovers God desires, our ministry to others would blossom much more fruitfully. Were we the faithful lovers God desires, our lives would be much more fulfilling.

We have said before that lifestyle worship is simple, not easy. It's a call for us to untangle ourselves from things in our current lifestyle that bind us. It's a call for us to reexamine and relieve ourselves of worshipless expectations that burden us.

I encourage you to take some time today to pull out your schedule and your checkbook, and begin weeding the garden of your life!

© 2007 John Garmo. If you would be interested in using this article, please contact us at Info@MissionToChildren.org.